Finding ‘THE ONE’ is not always an easy task in life. For most, you have to get through college, you have to find a job, but at the end of the day you want to come home to someone who will comfort you and tell you everything is going to be okay. You want to find YOUR ONE. I’ve been fortunate enough to find my prince charming, but I will admit that it did not come easy. And after watching MTV’s dating show “Are You The One”, I want to share my experience of finding MY ONE and what questions you should be asking your significant other to determine if he is YOUR ONE.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
I wouldn’t say that this is a question that you ask right at first, but when you start to feel that things are getting really serious. You might want to start asking yourself this and then asking him the same question. The base of the question is to see whether you see each other together in the future, but there’s more to the question than just whether if you’ll be together. This question helps to see whether both of you have similar goals. If he is saying that he sees himself quitting his job and traveling the world and you are planing on starting a family and settling in on a stable life, then he might not be ‘the one’ for you. It is essential that you both have similar plans for the rest of your future and that you two have the same ideals.
If we eliminated physical attraction from our relationship, what would be left?
Being attracted to one another is essential to establishing whether the is ‘the one’. If you ask him this question, and he doesn’t have that ideal answer then he’s not ‘the one’. Especially if his thoughts are very superficial. There should be a deeper connection that attracts you two to each other than just the physical appeal. Something else has to be there for you two to be a perfect match.
Would you prefer to live in the city or in the country?
If you’re a country girl and he’s got his sights on the city, you two are not a perfect match. And though compromise is a great thing to have in a relationship, compatibility is a must-have. This sounds like a basic question but it actually can determine a lot. You can’t put a city boy in a country setting because he will be uncomfortable and will always be yearning for the life that he really wants.
Do you feel that you can always communicate with me?
Communication is essential for a successful relationship, and if he doesn’t feel that he can communicate with you, then you two aren’t perfect for each other. Even if you think that you are not the best communicator, couples who are perfect for each other learn and still can communicate. When my fiancé and I started dating, we weren’t the best communicators but we always felt that we could come to each other with our problems, and never felt uncomfortable approaching the other about an issue.
What influence to do you feel that your family has in your life?
I believe that this is an important question to ask to see whether he is ‘the one’, because you have to see eye-to-eye on this. If he feels as if family is not important and you are big on family, then you two aren’t perfect for each other. A significant other who doesn’t like that your parents are important in your life can start to despise them and it can cause conflict in your relationship. You both need to feel as if family is important or both have to have a similar understanding about how family plays a part in your life.
When you’re in a bad mood, how do you want me to deal with it?
If you are a big communicator and like to fix issues right when they happen and he is a person who wants to be left alone for weeks on end, then you two aren’t a perfect match. This difference in thinking will cause strain in the relationship and will damage your communication and how you two think of one another. I am a person who likes to talk out issues and my fiancé likes to do the same. The only difference with him is that if the conversation gets too heated, he retreats. But it he doesn’t completely ignore the situation. He clears his mind and allows the both of us to think things through, then we return to the conversation and have it resolved.
MTV’s “Are You the One?” puts 10 single men and 10 single women together in a house in Hawaii to ask each other questions such as these to find out who their PERFECT MATCH is. And though you are not on a beautiful island doing this for competition, you might still want to ask your significant other these questions to make sure you find your PERFECT MATCH.
Watch the third season “Are You the One?” on Wednesday nights at 10pm EST on MTV and catch up on any episodes that you have missed on the show’s MTV page the day after the show has aired. You can also read the bios of all the singles living on the island to learn about them to see whether you can guess who their perfect match is.
For some additional fun, you can play the ‘Are You the One?’ guessing game while you watch the show on Wednesday nights. This game allows you to guess the matches right alongside the participants in the show. Each weeks winners will be entered into the drawing for a trip for 2 to HAWAII.
Will you be watching? I know I will!