Choosing your bridesmaids for your wedding can be one of the hardest things you have to do. You may have 6-7 of your friends and family that you want as your bridesmaids, but your fiancé only has 3-4. And you begin thinking that if you don’t include one person, it may be hard to include another. But it doesn’t have to be that difficult.
When I began planning my wedding, the first thing that I discussed with my fiancé was our wedding party. We wanted the people standing next to us at the altar to be the people who we cherish the most, and who would support us every step of the way leading up to and after our wedding. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not say that the people who I ended not including are people that I don’t cherish, and I do feel that they are supportive, I just want a certain look and feel for my wedding – most importantly, I want consistency.
Here are few things that I considered and asked myself when putting together my wedding party:
1 – How big do I want my wedding party to be?
I have little patience when it comes to managing people, and a big bridal party means that there are more people to manage. Though everyone doesn’t have to come on the day that the bridesmaids dresses are chosen, there are certain events and moments in the wedding planning period that you need all of your bridal party to be in attendance, and that means that you have to find a common date and time that everyone can meet and that can be hard. Also, as it gets closer to the wedding, you have to be in contact with all of your bridesmaids to make sure that they have their dresses, accessories, shoes, matching hairstyles, etc. It is a lot to manage.
When I began thinking of all of those aspects, I realized that I only wanted no more than 5 people as my bridesmaids and my fiancé agreed. This meant that I was not going to be including everyone that I might have wanted to, and he would have to make some cuts of his own. But, it would be less stress on us later.
So what you have to consider when it comes to choosing your bridesmaids is how much patience and time you have to manage the people in your bridal party because, to be honest, you won’t just be managing your bridesmaids, but you will most likely be involved in making sure the groomsmen are in line too.
2 – Will these ladies be available when I need them?
Throughout your wedding planning, you will have moments, appointments, and meetings where you will want someone to go with you. And typically, this person is your maid of honor, but at certain times she will not be able to make it and you have to be able to count on your other bridesmaids to be there for you.
When thinking of my bridesmaids, I sat and thought about who would be close to me and around during my time that I am planning my wedding. I had to think about who would be there for me when I needed them, and that made it a lot easier to pick the ladies of my wedding party. Some of my other friends and family who I am close to are either 1) not close enough to me in location or 2) very busy with work and/or other obligations. I didn’t think they would be able to devote the time needed for this wedding. The ladies that I choose, I know, would drop anything to be there for me when I need them.
3 – I need help with pretty much everything, so I need the people I choose to be helpful.
You may be like me and are planning to do some DIY projects for your wedding to cut costs such as putting together your own bouquets. Bridesmaids are usually the ladies that you go to in order to receive help with these projects. Even if you aren’t doing any DIY, you will still have projects such as dropping decorations off before the wedding day, putting together favors, finalizing seating arrangements, etc. that you will need help with. You want to make sure that your bridesmaids would be willing to help with these things.
Each one of my bridesmaids has offered assistance in the process of my wedding planning so far. So I know I have already made the right choice.
4 – Will they get along with the groomsmen?
It is absolutely essential that you assemble bridesmaids that will get along with your groomsmen. It can be such an uncomfortable thing when members of your entire wedding party don’t get along. If they don’t get along, on the day of the wedding, it will feel awkward and the wedding party will not interact with one another as often as you want them to. Remember, these ladies have to walk with these groomsmen and essentially be around them for many moments during the wedding.
You don’t want to look back at wedding photos and see that one of your bridesmaids and one of the groomsmen literally look like they hate each other.
5 – Remember, it is your wedding.
There will come moments when you start thinking that you have to include someone in order not to offend someone else, or to make sure that they don’t feel left out. I went through the same thing. I started thinking that I could not include one person because, if so, I would have to include the other in order to make things simple and less stressful. But, what I realized is that many things during my wedding planning process are going to be stressful and that it is my wedding. So if I wanted to include someone in my wedding party based on who I want standing next to me than that is my choice.
It is your wedding and you are the one that needs to be happy with everything that goes into it. I had to be reminded about that fact many times when it came to choosing my bridesmaids, and after finally realizing that it is my wedding, I was able to find a group of bridesmaids that I am so excited to have as a part of my wedding.
How are you getting along with your wedding planning? What things are you struggling with? Let me know! I alway love to hear everyone else’s tips and tricks to their wedding planning.